Always thinking

On a daily basis i think about just about a million things that go on around me. For instance today i thought about how stupid my father was for getting me a mouse when i own a cat. Yes my cat wanted to bit the living hell out of that mouse the instant he saw it. Quiet an adventurous morning i presume. As soon as i get to school my thigh high socks start rolling down my legs and it's getting really annoying.
Today is tuesday and the week has just begun. Last thursday i went to Drexel University to first drop of Peggy Ou there and then check out the campus for myself. It was a good campus the city was wicked nice, reminded me a lot of Boston, except it's more spread out. We returned home on Friday and from there i went over Carla's, did our usual Friday night (sit around watch videos and be bored). Saturday and Sunday weren't much different, i couldn't get any homework really done because i couldn't find anyone from any of my classes. English i did wrong and then re did last night, math i finished at the library which was three nights of homework, but it helped me study since i have a quiz today. I feel like i've gotten in way over my head with school. I'm not a good essay writter actually i completely suck. I have never written anything good my whole life, and i don't think i'm going to start now. I am trying though. Math has been okay, upset i couldn't change it to CP since i already have so much homework for both my other AP classes. Unlike some people i really don't mind having CP class in my Sceduale becaue it won't ruin my life and i'm not stupid for it. I choose to be at a lower level because unlike other Honors students i don't just cram everything in my brain take a test and forget about it the next week. But that's just how i am it's different for everyone.
At home everything's the same, same empty house but noisy as ever. My brother no longer lives with us but it's like he's always there so it made no difference. My father is annoying as always, always being the victim in the story. My mother well she's trying her best to get us an APT but she's out of a job and her and jobs don't mix well. My sister is unemployed and not college (not by choice, too expensive) She's searching for another job since everything so far that she has had sucked really badly. She even got a job that she only made less than a doller for, not good! People always try and rip kids off especially if you work in a place of the same culture as you. Me i'm brasilian and sometimes i'm embarssed to be. I'm not your typical go out with every guy girl like most brasilian girls are described as being. I came to America when i was three years old, Brasil isn't my home anymore. I tend to babble a lot i've noticed. I also can't keep my ideas in one place. I'm always on a rant. I think i rant in my essays, probably why their so bad. Their unfoucused. Like i know all the bad things and stuff i do wrong with them, i just never know how to fix them. Luana (sister) she's a great writter, very centered. If only i thought like her.
So this year i have no purpose. I feel like i'm not going to be anything in life. I feel stuck and like ive dug myself deeper and deeper into this whole. I don't want to do much in college, sad? I really don't have a carrer choice picked out. This year i've thought of severl but all of them seem to have a glitch with them. Last week i thought maybe i should do photography. But problem with that is its a chance business, either you make it or you don't. I wanted to be a chef but i've lost the love for food, i don't even like eating it anymore, it's not a joyous moment. I thought once I could be a book writer, like the people who write journals as stories, however that dream came crashing down quickly. As of today i'm thinking of doing International Relations because ive picked up Japanese and German, i also learn French in School (my other AP class). I speak fluent English and Portuguesse already, and i really hope to become fluent in French and then be able to speak to get by in German and Japanese. I've bought several books and practice everyday. But somehow i feel like i'm going to get bored wicked quick. I'm just trying to find my place and purpose in the world. Cliche? Yeah i bet but it's how i'm feeling and there's nothing to change it.
This week my friend invited me to go to College Fest hopefully it will give me some insight on maybe where to attend for next year. I don't want to leave the greater Boston area, i like the locals. Plus i've been outside of state and nothings like it here. I'd miss MA too much. Hopefully i can find some college that is close to a T and that i don't have to live on campus for. I want to be able to live on my own or with my best friend (whom is desperate to leave).
Bell...gotta run